GodÕs Word for Singles
1 CORINTHIANS 7:17-40

Baxter T. Exum (#1537)
Four Lakes Church of Christ
Madison, Wisconsin
March 15, 2020

Over the past two weeks, we have been looking together at GodÕs plan for marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, and we wrap it up today by looking at PaulÕs inspired advice for those who are not married. As we begin, I thought about sharing some statistics from the world at large, but instead, I just went to our church directory. In our directory right now, we have 48 entries, and of those 48 entries in our directory, if I have counted correctly, exactly 24 represent those who are single or living alone. And as we begin, as we keep this figure in mind (that roughly half of us are single), I also want us to remember who writes this chapter. As we know, Paul himself is not married at the time he writes this letter. And two weeks ago, we got a bit of a preview as to PaulÕs opinion on this. You might remember from 1 Corinthians 7:8, how Paul says (concerning marriage), ÒBut I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.Ó So, PaulÕs suggestion is that it is good to remain unmarried, just like he is. He basically repeats this in todayÕs passage, but the point I want to make here at the beginning is that GodÕs word specifically to those who are not married is actually written by a man who is not married. So, this isnÕt coming from your preacher who has been married for almost 27 years, but instead, this is coming from someone who understands, from someone who is not married himself. Let us please look together at 1 Corinthians 7:17-40,

17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the LordÕs freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is ChristÕs slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. 32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

As we study (and as you can see if you have a handout), IÕd like to divide this passage into three smaller chunksÉ

I. Éstarting with verses 17-24 and PaulÕs reminder that WE ARE TO SERVE GOD RIGHT WHERE WE ARE, and the reason is: OUR IDENTITY IS NOT DETERMINED BY OUR MARITAL STATUS. **PPT**

To get the big picture here, letÕs notice something Paul repeats three times in this passage: In verse 17, ÒOnly, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk.Ó In verse 20, ÒEach man must remain in that condition in which he was called.Ó And in verse 24, ÒBrethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.Ó In other words, we are to serve God in whatever condition or circumstances we are in right now! The larger context is marriage, but to help us understand the point heÕs making, the apostle Paul gives two examples.

The first is CIRCUMCISION. And what he basically says here is: Circumcision doesnÕt matter. If youÕre circumcised, serve the Lord! On the other hand, if youÕre not circumcised, serve the Lord! DonÕt waste your life wishing you were or wishing you werenÕt. Either way, if you are Jew or Gentile, serve the Lord. Your identity is not determined by your status in this area. You are a Christian! What matters is Òkeeping the LordÕs commandmentsÓ (verse 19). Serve the Lord as you have been called.

The second example is SLAVERY. And as with circumcision, he basically says: Whether slave or free, serve the Lord. DonÕt let even your slavery hold you back in this area. Whether slave or free, serve the Lord right where you are. Your identity as a Christian is not determined by whether you are slave or free. If you can be free, great; do that. But either way, you are a slave primarily of Jesus Christ. Serve Him!

The circumstances might be different (circumcision and slavery are not exactly how we classify ourselves today), but the big idea is the same: Instead of letting our current circumstances hold us back, Paul is telling us to serve God right where we are. We are not to hold back in our service to God because of our present circumstances. And if this applies to circumcision and slavery, it also applies to marriage: If youÕre married, serve God! If youÕre single, serve God! A fulfilling life of Christian service does not depend on a change in circumstances. ItÕs not wrong to try to change our circumstances, itÕs not wrong to want to get married, but PaulÕs reminder here is: Serve God right where you are. So, if youÕre married today: Serve God! And if you are not married today: Serve God! God has a way of using all of us, right where we are. And again, this isnÕt coming from your preacher whoÕs been married almost 27 years; this is coming from Paul, who is not married himself.

II. And this leads us into the next paragraph, as Paul describes SEVERAL BENEFITS OF LIVING THE SINGLE LIFE.

As we come to verses 25-35, he describes at least three advantages:

A. And the first comes in verses 25-28 as Paul makes the argument that being single is preferred, because THOSE WHO ARE UNMARRIED WILL HAVE LESS PRESSURE DURING A TIME OF INTENSE PERSECUTION.

He makes it clear that this is his Òopinion.Ó It is an inspired opinion, but he gives the reason for it: If you are not married, itÕs pretty much ÒgoodÓ to stay that way Òin view of the present distress,Ó he says. If you are married, donÕt get unmarried; thatÕs not what weÕre talking about here; but if youÕre single, Paul is suggesting that you stay that way. ItÕs not a sin to get married, but youÕll have a bit more Òtrouble,Ó and heÕs trying to save these people from that. When he refers to the Òpresent distress,Ó heÕs referring to the idea of getting ÒcompressedÓ or Òsqueezed.Ó And so, there was something happening in the world at that time that would make marriage especially difficult for a Christian. He doesnÕt really explain, but it seems that heÕs referring to persecution of some kind. We think of Paul himself. At one time, he did the persecuting, and now he is the one getting persecuted. And it seems to me as if Paul is saying being married would have a way of making it worse. We think of Paul getting beaten and left for dead, we think of Paul getting arrested and put in prison, we think of Paul being shipwrecked, we think of Paul facing execution. ThatÕs bad enough, but imagine having your wife along for all of that. Imagine having your kids along for all of that. His suggestion, then, because of the Òpresent distress,Ó is that if you are currently single, itÕs probably best (in his opinion) to stay that way. Things are about to get really ugly, and having a family will make it worse. You might remember how God did not allow Jeremiah to get married for this exact reason (we see this in Jeremiah 16:2-4). Like Paul, Jeremiah was also preaching during a time of persecution, but in his case, God specifically forbid him from having a wife and children. So,this isnÕt something that applies to all people at all times, but in a time of intense persecution, it is sometimes better not to be married. Not that it is a sin to be married, but marriage complicates things. So, this is the first benefit to staying single: It saves us from trouble in a time of distress.

B. The second benefit comes in verses 29-31, as Paul basically explains that LIFE IS SHORT.

In verse 29, he says that Òthe time has been shortened.Ó To be ÒshortenedÓ is the idea of something being Òdrawn togetherÓ or Òmade smaller.Ó Last week, I walked from our house down to Farm and Fleet in Verona. It was windy and raining, so I tightened the drawstrings on my hood. I drew it together. I made it smaller. And thatÕs, in a sense, what Paul is referring to here. The time has been ÒshortenedÓ or Òdrawn together.Ó Then, in verse 31, he refers to the fact that Òthe form of this world is passing away.Ó Or, as we might say today: Life is short! And in addition to marriage, he gives a few illustrations as he refers to weeping, and rejoicing, and buying, and selling. And it seems that his point is: Because life is so short, donÕt get hung up on marriage, because just like everything else, either good or bad, marriage is also quite temporary. Yes, it is for a lifetime, but life itself is very brief. So, donÕt let what is temporary get in the way of what is truly eternal. DonÕt get distracted, even by marriage.

C. And this leads us to another benefit of being single as Paul explains (in verses 32-35) that remaining unmarried allows GodÕs people to be ÒFREE FROM CONCERNÓ or FREE FROM DISTRACTIONS. **PPT**

Not that the unmarried have no concerns, but with reference to the Lord, those who are married have interests that are divided. In marriage, we take a vow to be concerned about somebody. We take a vow to love, and to honor another human being. And by necessity, a good chunk of our time and our mental energy is diverted away from God and toward this person. And I know, by loving our spouse we are actually loving God, in a sense, but in a very real way, we are distracted. ItÕs not necessarily bad, but itÕs the reality. Those of us who are married are distracted. Those arenÕt my words, those are PaulÕs words. And what he says comes in the form of this reminder that those who are unmarried are able to Òsecure undistracted devotion to the Lord.Ó Now, Paul is not forcing this. This isnÕt a command. But this is PaulÕs suggestion. This is for the ÒbenefitÓ of those who are not married, not as a command, but as a reminder: Marriage can be something of a distraction.

We think of Paul traveling from one end of the Mediterranean world to the other. ThereÕs something to be said for the fact that Paul never had to get permission from Mrs. Paul to do that. He wasnÕt leaving her behind with a house full of children; but instead, every bit of PaulÕs mind was absolutely and completely dedicated to pleasing the Lord, without distraction. I think about the summer I lived in Janesville, a year before we got married. They hadnÕt had a preacher for several years, and there was so much to do. I was new at this, so I remember keeping track of my hours, and most days were absolutely jam-packed full of church stuff Ð study, home visits, nursing homes, jails, phone calls, sermon prep, class prep, Bible studies, working around the building, and on and on. I had zero distractions. In terms of rest, all I needed was a place to crash for a few hours at night. I shared a room with a guy who worked from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. at a factory making seats for the GM plant down there. I think I only saw him two times that entire summer. Of course, when I got married, I had to cut back on some of that. I could no longer work 100 hours every week. I was distracted, in a sense! Me getting married, was a huge blessing to the church, of course. But I think most of us understand what Paul is saying here: When we get married, we donÕt just add our spouse to all of our current responsibilities, but something has to go! Something has to give. And when children come along, all of this is even more true, isnÕt it? When my children get homework at school, I get homework! Because of my children, IÕve spent more time in doctorsÕ offices and ERÕs and urgent cares than I ever imagined was even possible Ð not to mention karate, and ballet, and track meets, and computer hacking competitions. I have been to some ballet recitals where I have prayed for the Lord to return soon! And on and on. I wouldnÕt give it up for anything, but Paul acknowledges reality here: Marriage and family life can be something of a distraction, or at least it should be. If it isnÕt, we are doing it wrong! By the way, I think IÕve observed through the years that this is where some couples get in trouble Ð they get married, and one or both continue living as if they are still single. That doesnÕt reflect the reality of marriage. And that seems to be what Paul is saying here: By remaining unmarried, some will be able to maintain an undistracted devotion to the Lord.

And weÕve seen this here, in our own lives Ð the encouragement and undistracted spiritual devotion that singles can provide Ð from drive-by lasagnas, to taking on tough assignments, to coordinating entire programs, we know that what Paul says here is true. And so, there are some benefits to this unhindered devotion to God.

III. As we come to the last paragraph, I would summarize what Paul says here in terms of a reminder, that IT IS NOT A SIN TO GET MARRIED, AS LONG AS WE MARRY WITHIN GODÕS LAW.

And we have two categories down in this last paragraph. In verses 36-38, Paul first seems to address fathers who are wondering whether to let their daughters get married. You might notice that we have some translation issues here. It literally refers to a ÒmanÓ and his Òvirgin,Ó which is a little bit weird! YouÕll notice that the NASB has interpreted this to refer to someoneÕs Òvirgin daughter,Ó but ÒdaughterÓ is in italics. It was added by the translators, to help it make sense. Other translations take this as a reference to an engaged couple wondering where to go on this. But either way, PaulÕs reminder is that itÕs not a sin to get married. In PaulÕs mind, itÕs better to hold off on marriage during this time of persecution, but if a dad not allowing his daughter to get married seems to be too overbearing or unfair, if itÕs putting her in a bad spot and putting her at risk of sin, then go ahead and let her get married. If she consents to staying single, though, thatÕs even better, in PaulÕs opinion. The same basic principles would apply if this is actually about an engaged couple.

The last few verses are addressed to widows. Marriage is for life, but if the husband dies, the wife is free to get remarried, but only Òin the Lord.Ó Some have suggested this means Òaccording to GodÕs LawÓ (which makes sense), but I have taken it to mean that she is to marry a Christian. If youÕd like to know more about both sides of that, let me know. But the big idea here at the end, is that it is okay to get married. HeÕs been giving his opinion that itÕs best to stay single throughout this chapter, so he closes with a reminder that if you really want to get married, go for it.

Conclusion:

What do we learn from all of this? What IÕve noticed in this passage is that all of us need to be serving God Ð right where we are. Those of us who are married are not to let being married get in the way, and those who are single are not to let being single get in the way. And to me, it seems rather straightforward. IÕve included two very good articles in the cubbyholes today, one of them written by a friend of mine whoÕs a licensed therapist, and he has some very good and practical words. We could have addressed t his issue topically today, but we didnÕt. Instead, this morning we have allowed the word of God to arrange and guide our thoughts, and there is a real value to that as well.

As we close, I just hope we remember that some of the greatest heroes of the Bible were not married Ð either throughout their lifetime or at the time they did whatever it was that made them spiritual heroes. We think of great men like Joseph, and Jeremiah, and Daniel, and Paul, and Jesus himself. We could even mention Anna, as we talked about her in our Wednesday class last week. These men and women actually did what Paul is talking about here. I hope this will be an encouragement to us.

If there is some way we can serve you, we hope you will get in touch. I realize today is somewhat unusual, so IÕve put our contact information on the wall up here. Hopefully this comes through on the livestream as well. If you have any questions about GodÕs plan for our salvation, if there is something we need to be praying about, we hope you will let us know. Send an email. Either call or text the number up here. If we can help you with food or necessities this week, please get in touch.

God sent his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. In response, he demands that we publicly confess him as the Christ, the Son of God, he demands that we turn from sin, he demands that we be immersed in water for the forgiveness of sins. At this point we are born into GodÕs family, and we have the privilege of living for him, whether married or single. If we can help in some way, let us know as we sing this next song. LetÕs stand and singÉ

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